by Francis J. Kong
September 10th, 2011
Build positive memories.
What would be one of the most tragic things that can happen to parents? It’ll be the day they would sadly discover their kids have all grown up but without fond memories of intimate togetherness enjoyed with their parents.
I want to create positive memories with my kids.
I establish rituals to aid me in forming those memories, and, through them all, I shower affection.
Let me give you an example.
Every kid of mine knows how going to church is important to me. Sunday is going-to-a-worship-gathering time with the whole family—instilling in them the nurturing of an integral part of our being, our spirits. After which I would go anywhere they’d want to go.
First, their choice of restaurant where we have breakfast together then again, their choice for the next stop, and so on—each Sunday a memorable family day for all of us.
Why? Because in the first place I want them to associate going to church as a necessary and pleasant experience that they’d always look forward to—now, and in the future…with their own kids.
Every opportunity I get I take the entire family out on a vacation. I’ve had the opportunity to bring them to many places in our country. And I have been blessed with being able to bring them to other countries too.
My children are filled with memories of togetherness with their parents. And we make sure that every trip, every experience is a pleasant one. Harmonious. Enjoyable. It may cost me a pretty penny, but how can you put a price tag on heart-warming unforgettables?
Now you need to understand one very important thing. You need to be human. (Aren’t you?) You need to show your affections.
I don’t know where in heaven’s name did we get the notion that macho men are cool characters who have strong tear-control.
We’ve heard it before. Men are not supposed to cry, right?
Wrong!
Do you know that it takes more courage for a man to shed a tear? Courage to be honest, to uncover an inner tenderness. And releasing it into the open is quite a relief, a healthy thing to do, and comforting to people we love. After all, aren’t all humans endowed with emotions?
Men included.
Why? Jesus Christ himself wept, didn’t He?
Sometimes our problem is that we want to improve on God, or attempt to ignore some indispensable components our Creator built into our life-balancing system.
Our kids need to see and experience our human side.
Corny or essential? And the answer is…
I know of many fathers who are incapable of showing their affections which their children innately need and crave for. Result? They alienate themselves from their kids without meaning to.
But do you know what’s worse than this?
It is a fact that their kids will grow up to become parents not knowing how to openly show their affections to their own kids, too. And so the vicious cycle grinds on.
My son Brian is in his early 20’s.
Taller than me and definitely more powerful, especially now that he’s into free boxing, I would come home and engage him in a bear hug and try to tickle him and I know he’s not exactly excited about this. But I don’t care. I’m sure that one day, he will look back to those moments with fondness.
How I pity fathers who’ve never shown affection to their kids. One tight embrace could deliver a thousand more words and is also a thousand times better than the mouth can express.
Source: Why Don’t You Grow Up …..Dad?
What do you do to make family meals a regular occasion?
